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The Dark Side of Love
Unmasking the Four Stages of Narcissistic Abuse
Love can be a powerful and beautiful emotion, one that brings immense joy and fulfillment. However, love too often has a dark side. When it comes to narcissistic relationships, the spiraling cycles of idealization, devaluation, discard (also known as the silent treatment), and hoovering are all too common. In this blog post, we address the heartbreaking reality of these patterns in an effort to shed light on what is meant by narcissistic abuse. By walking our readers through each stage of this cycle and offering practical steps for protecting oneself from further harm, we hope to provide them with an empowering new perspective so they may reach safety sooner rather than later.
The Idealization Stage of Narcissistic Abuse — What it looks like and how to recognize it
Being in the idealization stage of narcissistic abuse is like being in a dream. Everything is perfect, and your partner seems too good to be true. They shower you with affection, love, and attention, making you feel special and worthy of their time and energy. But this isn’t real. It’s just a game your partner is playing to gain control over you. To recognize the idealization stage, pay attention to how your partner acts in public versus in private. Are they charming and charismatic around others? Do they constantly put you down or make you feel like you’re not good enough when you’re alone? It’s important to trust your instincts and talk to someone you trust if you’re feeling confused or unsure. Remember, you deserve to be treated with love and respect, not just during the idealization stage, but always.
The Devaluation Stage of Narcissistic Abuse — How the abuser attempts to control you
Devaluation is one of the most insidious tactics a narcissistic abuser will use to try and control you. It can be tough to spot at first, but over time you’ll start to see just how destructive and damaging it really is. The abuser may start to criticize and belittle you, make you feel small and insignificant, and undermine your confidence and self-esteem. It can be distressing and confusing, and leave you feeling as though you’re constantly walking…
